


mountain mover

by blessings



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Gen, Haikyuu!! Manga Spoilers, for the ennoshita zine!, set in ennoshita's 3rd year, theoretically dramatic and serious but it's me so
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-05
Updated: 2020-04-05
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:34:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23486884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blessings/pseuds/blessings
Summary: If he had to review his own performance in the role of captain, Ennoshita would recommend that the audience watch something else, please.
Relationships: Ennoshita Chikara & Kinoshita Hisashi & Narita Kazuhito, Ennoshita Chikara & Sawamura Daichi, Ennoshita Chikara & Tanaka Ryuunosuke
Comments: 8
Kudos: 103





	mountain mover

**Author's Note:**

> a late post for the wonderful [ennoshita zine!](https://twitter.com/ennoshitazine)
> 
> the spoilers are about a match with datekou after hinata's 1st year

By the time the ball touches the ground next to his foot, Ennoshita’s already thinking of the speech he’ll have to give.

There’s a moment where he hears nothing but the slam of Futakuchi’s spike, echoing between bleachers. The squeak of sneakers, the cheers of the crowd, Saeko’s drums -- he can’t hear any of it over the drop of the ball synced up with his heart stopping.

A shallow inhale is the first sound he recognizes, in between the second and third bounce of the ball out of the boundaries of the court. It’s Nishinoya, tense to the point of trembling: a wire pulled too tight, one hand outstretched centimeters from the ball’s final resting place.

The rest of the team moves at once then, still together even in this -- Hinata and Kageyama slide to the ground simultaneously, Tanaka ducks his head, Tsukki turns and walks off the court, grabbing his bag and shoving his glasses into it as Yamaguchi hovers, glancing between him and the final score. 29-27 in the final set. A close game, but close on the wrong side for Karasuno. 

Chikara steels himself. Yanks Kageyama and Hinata to their feet. Follows Tsukki off the court. Straightens his spine to put on a show and fold himself over in half for the audience. 

He can’t glance to the left or right when they bow, can only keep his eyes on the ground. He needs to save it up, preserve the limited eye contact he can make for looking each of his teammates in the face and saying they did well, it just wasn’t their day.

(Is that good enough? That’s not gonna work, he would’ve hated to hear that if he was in their place. He should rework it now, before they get back to the bench and Coach looks at him like he knows what to say.)

Dammit, even Tsukki's face is on the verge of showing an emotion that isn’t general disdain. He can’t _do_ this.

Chikara clears his throat. He hasn’t had water since their timeout in those last, desperate five minutes. 

Tanaka nudges his shoulder, less aggressively than he would’ve any other time. Chikara leans into it, grateful, and takes one more breath.

"I'm so proud of all of you," he says, and it's easy because it's the truth. "I’ve never seen any team play volleyball like you do. You grew so much in just one day.”

They're looking at him like they believe him, believe _in_ him, and the stress is making his vision blur at the edges. 

"Nobody gave up," he starts again, lying now. "Not here, not at practice. And that’s all I can ask for. So rest well tonight, and we'll get back to it tomorrow."

The lie burns like exhaustion in the back of his throat. The truth is, in that split second after seeing the ball heading his way and registering he was going to have to do something about it, an awful idea had creeped into the back of his mind. Like a vine wrapped around his neck yanking him back, Chikara had given up before the ball touched the ground.

\--- 

The morning after, his alarm goes off three times before he finally turns to face it and another two before he turns the whole phone off. Without a clock to tell him the time, he loses track of how long he lays in the same spot under the covers, staring at the bright spaces between his blinds until they blur.

Idly, in between the time it takes for the thin strips of light patterned on his wall to shift from above his bookshelf to just slightly to the left and down, he thinks this all wouldn’t suck as bad if it wasn’t Futakuchi’s stupid smug face smirking at him from across the net imprinted in his memory. He had lost more than the match yesterday - he had given Futakuchi’s entire awful personality ground to stand on, which was a loss not only for Karasuno, but all of Miyagi as well.

He has to stand up at some point. He can’t be lying here thinking about Futakuchi, he’ll develop hives.

Getting out of bed would be easier if he didn’t have to face the team. They’re watching the video of their match, hopefully to learn something from it. Chikara thinks that the most obvious lesson from yesterday is that they need a new leader, fast.

Being captain is so much easier when your team is winning. What he does, it’s not leadership. It’s clever writing, it’s knowing what to say so no one will blame themselves and hopefully won’t blame him either, no matter how much he deserves it.

He never really thought he could do it. He was just nominated for the job by being the most responsible, which is also a lie. Unless responsible was suddenly a synonym for major commitment issues. 

The fact is, Chikara’s spent the past few months waiting to be proven right.

Karasuno’d had one taste and got greedy, stayed as gluttonous as ever and trained with the expectation that they would be getting just as far this year, because the alternative was stagnation. But Chikara doesn’t do desperation well, doesn’t have the faith or bravery to throw his entire self into something, and he supposes that all the moments in his life he's spent thinking about not-volleyball must have added up.

What was the point? What was the point in coming back, if he's just going to bring the team down? 

What's the point in going back today? 

Karasuno has one more chance. They’d be better off without him there to give up on it again.

\---

Chikara is late, of course. The team and Coach are already set up in the clubroom, half of them shoveling snacks into their mouths like losing-- like the match yesterday had opened a black hole in their stomachs.

He waves off their greetings and curls up against a locker in the back, pulling out his notebook. Tanaka focuses on him longer than anyone, wearing an inscrutable expression. It’s dropped quickly when faced with Chikara’s dead stare, and the video is started up again.

Tanaka says: "Oh man, oh man, I love this part, watch this," as if the whole team wasn’t gathered around a TV to do exactly that, and take notes on it, too. The play that has Tanaka losing his mind is of Hinata jumping a good meter off the ground to slam the ball right past Futakuchi’s pointy nose. 

He commandeers the remote to hit rewind for the third time, jostling Hinata with his hand in his hair. "Where'd you pull that out of, kid? I mean, did you see the look on his _face,_ it almost makes it all worth it."

Chikara can barely hide his wince and Yamaguchi doesn’t even bother trying, dropping his pen somewhere in the process of jolting upright and trying to make it look casual. Tanaka clears his throat too loudly and hits play again, turning his attention to a sullen Tsukki to congratulate him on a block that had Futakuchi’s true gremlin self making an appearance on the court.

Tanaka’s trying so hard. He doesn't even feel bad about showing it. Chikara thinks they were right to name him the ace, and wrong to let him talk his way out of being captain. 

A pointy elbow to his side jolts him out of his thoughts. In his daze, he’s allowed himself to be surrounded. 

“Hey, Cap,” Kinoshita says, eyebrows waggling.

“How’re you doing? How’s this corner of the room treating you?” Narita asks.

Chikara shrinks under the weight of three (how? How did Noya reach?) arms slung around his shoulders. “I’m doing--”

“‘Caaaause you look like you wanna throw up,” Noya interrupts. “Right guys?”

“Definitely more nauseous than usual,” Kinoshita helpfully contributes, joking, then drops the smile to add, “And more tired.”

Chikara straightens up, creating space for himself under the combined weight of the third-years. “I’m doing fine. Really.”

“Sure,” Noya says flatly, and he’s the most dangerous one here, will never let something like this go when it comes to his friends. “Cool. So whenever you’re done acting like you’re fine, we’re here.” 

“We just thought you needed a reminder,” Kinoshita says, kindly, but somehow making it feel like a threat.

Chikara catches Tanaka’s gaze across the room and stiffens. “I know. But it’s okay. Really.”

Noya sighs. “Like I said. Now scoot over, I wanna mope on the floor too.”

Chikara’s too distracted to deny it, caught by Tanaka’s glare. He doesn’t trust a Tanaka that’s looking at him like that.

\---

Chikara realizes he was right the second he steps into the clubroom on Monday, allegedly only an hour early for morning practice but apparently he’s gone a whole year back, because Sawamura Daichi is scrolling through his phone while Tanaka tries to get his attention by doing push-ups.

Daichi looks up at the sound of the door closing and smiles. “Ennoshita!”

“No,” Chikara replies.

Tanaka sputters and flops over like a bald fish. 

“Welcome,” he announces grandly from the floor. “To your intervention.”

Chikara turns to run. Tanaka tackles him.

“Not in the clubroom!” Daichi orders, then looks disappointed with himself.

If this is Tanaka’s idea to make him feel better, Chikara needs to get better best friends. 

He’s stretched to his limits trying to fill the giant space Daichi left behind. Being reminded of his failure to do so is doing the opposite of cheering him up. 

He’d always seen Daichi as a shield before the team, lending them the confidence that they could take a couple hits and come out okay. Chikara is the opposite -- holes in his defenses, more like a sheet of fabric than something sturdy.

“Tanaka called me.” Daichi winces apologetically. “I’m not really sure why I’m here, but I might have an idea.”

“We’re gathered here today,” Tanaka says solemnly. “Because this wimp thinks he plays volleyball by himself!”

Chikara jolts away, anger rising faster than he knew he was capable of. “I do _not--_ I would never--”

“I think I get it now,” Daichi interrupts, examining Chikara quizzically. “Ennoshita. It wasn’t your fault.”

Chikara starts to shake his head, but finds himself held in place by Daichi placing a hand on his shoulder.

“You’re underestimating the power of just being there for the team, like you always do,” Daichi tells him, sternly, and Chikara realizes with trepidation that he’s going to be convinced. “Getting up every morning and stepping onto the court is more than half of it. Especially when you’ve lost.”

Chikara feels untethered. “But that’s it, that’s all I _can_ do. I just stand there, I don’t know how--”

Tanaka slams a fist onto the top of his head, dead center, and rubs it viciously. “How the hell is anyone supposed to believe in you when you don’t even believe in yourself, huh?”

“You believe in the team, right?” Daichi asks.

“Of course,” Chikara says instantly, thinking of how they play like they’ll steal victory if they need to. 

“Then let them lead you,” Daichi says, and he’s back to friendly, still a pillar to rely on but in a different way. “Being captain, you’ll feel like you’re following behind. But that just means you have to grow to catch up.”

“That can’t be it,” Chikara says. “It can’t be that easy.”

“It’s impossible,” Daichi laughs. “But I did it, I think.”

Chikara’s mouth snaps closed, and he finally lets himself stop thinking, for the first time since he quit two years ago. He’s been trying to make up for that mistake this whole time, and instead of moving forward, it’s been holding him back.

Daichi smiles like he can read Chikara’s mind. “So, if we’re all good here, I’d really like to surprise the rest of the team.”

“They’re gonna be here soon, you can hide behind the staircase!” Tanaka says, already yanking the clubroom door open.

Daichi pauses on his way out. “Hey, Ennoshita. Catch you during practice?”

Chikara flops onto the clubroom floor and doesn’t think too hard about where it’s been. “Sure thing.”

In the silence that follows, Tanaka’s eyes dart guiltily between the door and Chikara.

“Well! He’s...definitely still got it,” he says hesitantly. 

It’s that version of Daichi, the one with enough conviction to turn their ragtag team into champions, that Chikara’s been chasing after. 

Maybe seeing him again did help.

“Hey, Tanaka?” Chikara says. “Thanks.”

“I didn’t do anything,” Tanaka says immediately, flushing. 

Chikara sighs, faking disappointment. “What did we just go over? I can’t do this on my own. Take some credit, vice captain.” 

Tanaka laughs, quietly at first and then with his whole body, throwing himself down next to Chikara. They’re still lying there when Hinata and Kageyama both scream something unintelligible downstairs, loud enough that it comes up through the ground. Chikara can almost feel the vibrations through the floorboards.

“Well,” Chikara says. “At least we know they have enough energy to do laps.”

Tanaka cackles. “Tough practice planned for today, captain?”

“The road to Nationals starts here,” Chikara says, and he’s only being sarcastic a little bit. 

**Author's Note:**

> ttyl (Tanaka The Ybest pLayer)
> 
> [blessings.carrd.co](https://blessings.carrd.co/)


End file.
